Ten years ago: I was 19. Had just finished up my sophomore year at UMD. I was dating the guy I dated before Chad, and it was going well. I working as a hostess at the LE Inn. Nothing interesting had really happened to me, yet!
Five years ago: Now, this was exciting! Chad and I were newlyweds. I was going to a musical festival with some friends, and on the ride up, Chad called me about this job oppurtunity in England! It was the last day to submit resumes, and luckily we both had one current, and he sent them off. I had NO idea how fantastic it really all would be.
One year ago: Charlie was only a couple of weeks old, and it was all settling in. He wasn't a great sleeper, always wanted to be held, and I just never felt like I had any time off. Luckily, Jack was great. I don't think I could have handled newborn Charlie and a naughty Jack. Also, my 10 year high school reunion was just about this time last year. It was a blast, probably not even half of the class, but loads of people I wanted to see.
Yesterday: Chad and I spent a chunk of the day taking apart the kids' kitchen that I bought from a thrift store. We painted the "appliances" stainless steel and black over some of the other items, like cabinets. Chad cleaned the inside, or tried to. It looks pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself! Then, Jack napped and Chad took Charlie with him to Home Depot. I had a bath and some alone time. Then I worked last night. We had a corny little competition, but it was a bit of fun and my team won!
Five snacks I enjoy: chocolate, popcorn, nachos, ice cream and chocolate.
Five songs I know all the words to: Hmmm, not sure if I know all of the words correctly. There are some C+C Music Factory from way back, some Gin Blossoms, some Wallflowers (first album), some Bryan Adams (early stuff), and Gavin DeGraw's new stuff.
Five things I would do with $100 million: Build my dream home, pay off houses for my sis, BIL, ILs and anything grandparents want, set ourselves up for life, TRAVEL and something charitable for others, like my sister thought of building these cabins somewhere, and granting artists 6 month stints to use them and any supplies they need. Not just painters and such, but writers or pottery or flair bartenders (cos that is an art, you know. I saw it on the Food Channel). I liked her idea.
Five places I would escape to: Italy. Greece. Dubrovnik (Croatia). Tahiti in a glass bottomed hut. New Zealand.
Five bad habits: Biting my fingernails when I am nervous/stressed. Being bitchy when nervous/stressed. Not wiping up the floor properly after the kids have eaten (I miss the dogs). Picking at my eyelashes. Snapping at the kids.
Five things I like doing: Reading, traveling, enjoying a moment with my kids, zoning out on the computer, daydreaming.
Five things I'd never wear: Belly shirts, Capri pants, most things Carrie wore on Sex and the City (mostly cos she is tiny and I am not), Shoes with ridiculous heels, bikini.
Five TV shows I like: Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, McLeod's Daughters, Everwood.
Five biggest joys of the moment: Going to the farmer's market with my sister, planning out things for the new house, watching my boys enjoy each other, Jack volunarily kissing me and being able to spend alone time with Charlie (Jack and I get more alone time right now than Charlie and I do).
Five favorite toys: the computer, Ikea catalog, books, gardening aparati, credit card.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
All Growed Up
My sweetest, Charlie, is one year old today. And I am in WA while he is in MN. He won't remember, but I always will. I got a little cuddle in at 5:30, and I am comforted by the fact that he is with people who love him and maybe doesn't even notice that I am gone.
This trip will be the longest I have ever been seperated from him. With Jack, we took off when he was 5 months old, but it was different. I felt so tied down, things were just so different going from no kids to 1. There were different challenges, I guess. With Charlie, I already was tied down, so I didn't feel that way. I nursed him longer, so it was a lot longer until he spent the night away from me. And he has always been more dependent on me. Jack was independent from the start, and I always loved that. I am not saying that I like either of these facets of my children better, they are just different.
I just wish I could be with Charlie today. I am sure if I was, it would be much like any other day. I am sure that would get easily frustrated, or lazy, or just want time to myself. And maybe there wouldn't be any "special" time for me and him, just those moments I want to cherish forever, moments that are hard to explain. I just feel like I should be with him on his day.
But I am not, and I am doing something that is important to all of us. Some alone time with his daddy, which we really have needed. We are both so stressed with the house, and just have been connecting because of it. But I am literally and figuratively so far away from that right now, and it feels great. I am liking my husband, and getting reacquainted with myself again. I think all people need this, but in different ways. I think my good friend, Jenny, gets it when she goes for a pedicure. I truly think that a couple of days away from her kids might make her more stressed at this point. Hey, it takes all kinds, right.
Anyway, I want to honor my Chucker right now. He is such a little gem, and he breaks my heart in so many ways. He really is such a sweet boy. He loves, loves, LOVES to give kisses. He even cuddles a bit (you try to get a 1 year old to sit still for a cuddle). He is so cute, with how he throws his arms up when he wants to be carried, to how he picks up a toy and gives it to me (over and over and over again), and how he has the cutest little grin that lights up and scrunches up his little face. Oh, I never knew that I could be this happy with two little boys. They give me so many rewards, and I really am so lucky. They are already each other best friends, well, maybe all three of us are our own little gang right now. They get along so well, I really can't imagine them fighting. I know they will, but I am glad it is a little way off from now.
Happy Birthday, Charlie baby. I love you and miss you in ways you will never know.
This trip will be the longest I have ever been seperated from him. With Jack, we took off when he was 5 months old, but it was different. I felt so tied down, things were just so different going from no kids to 1. There were different challenges, I guess. With Charlie, I already was tied down, so I didn't feel that way. I nursed him longer, so it was a lot longer until he spent the night away from me. And he has always been more dependent on me. Jack was independent from the start, and I always loved that. I am not saying that I like either of these facets of my children better, they are just different.
I just wish I could be with Charlie today. I am sure if I was, it would be much like any other day. I am sure that would get easily frustrated, or lazy, or just want time to myself. And maybe there wouldn't be any "special" time for me and him, just those moments I want to cherish forever, moments that are hard to explain. I just feel like I should be with him on his day.
But I am not, and I am doing something that is important to all of us. Some alone time with his daddy, which we really have needed. We are both so stressed with the house, and just have been connecting because of it. But I am literally and figuratively so far away from that right now, and it feels great. I am liking my husband, and getting reacquainted with myself again. I think all people need this, but in different ways. I think my good friend, Jenny, gets it when she goes for a pedicure. I truly think that a couple of days away from her kids might make her more stressed at this point. Hey, it takes all kinds, right.
Anyway, I want to honor my Chucker right now. He is such a little gem, and he breaks my heart in so many ways. He really is such a sweet boy. He loves, loves, LOVES to give kisses. He even cuddles a bit (you try to get a 1 year old to sit still for a cuddle). He is so cute, with how he throws his arms up when he wants to be carried, to how he picks up a toy and gives it to me (over and over and over again), and how he has the cutest little grin that lights up and scrunches up his little face. Oh, I never knew that I could be this happy with two little boys. They give me so many rewards, and I really am so lucky. They are already each other best friends, well, maybe all three of us are our own little gang right now. They get along so well, I really can't imagine them fighting. I know they will, but I am glad it is a little way off from now.
Happy Birthday, Charlie baby. I love you and miss you in ways you will never know.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Checking Out
We are going on vacation in a few days and I really need it. We both really need it, in fact. We are so burnt out and fried at this point, it is scary.
House selling is not going so hot. We had an open house over the weekend, and 5 showed. That was ok. But then our agent went around to other open houses and asked around, and every agent seemed to say the same thing: Where are all of the buyers? That does NOT bode well for us. Our plan is to drastically drop the price and pray to the good lord that we can get enough out of it as we need, and still close right around the same time as the new house. HAH. Like that will happen. Not really sure what the plan is if it doesn't happen. Curl up in a hole and die, I suppose.
Charlie turns 1 tomorrow. And I am leaving him. I am feeling really horribly sad about that. And then I remember that I get to sleep in for 7 days, and I feel a bit better.
House selling is not going so hot. We had an open house over the weekend, and 5 showed. That was ok. But then our agent went around to other open houses and asked around, and every agent seemed to say the same thing: Where are all of the buyers? That does NOT bode well for us. Our plan is to drastically drop the price and pray to the good lord that we can get enough out of it as we need, and still close right around the same time as the new house. HAH. Like that will happen. Not really sure what the plan is if it doesn't happen. Curl up in a hole and die, I suppose.
Charlie turns 1 tomorrow. And I am leaving him. I am feeling really horribly sad about that. And then I remember that I get to sleep in for 7 days, and I feel a bit better.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Stressball
I am feeling like a total stressball lately. It is over the house, of course. Something I can't control, and usually I do not condone stressing over situations such as these, but without any control, well, all there is to do is stress.
The (current) house has not sold yet. No one has come to see the house in over a week, and even that was only 1 appointment. It is deadsville around here, and frankly, difficult to keep in showroom quality when you never have anyone to show. Anyway, there is no Plan B if this house does not sell. I am not sure what happens. I assume we don't get the mortgage, cos God knows we cannot afford two houses. Chad and I need to talk through a Plan B.
Yesterday was our pre-sheetrock walk-through. It was really cool to see, but we also got The Date. The completion date. September 19th. A week earlier than we had expected. STRESS. And the field manager, Brandon, went into details about what happens next, and it was just too much. My stomach was rolling, and I don't think it has stopped since. It is even giving me insomnia.
Meanwhile, I cannot stop spending money on the new house. Granted, they have been sale items (really good sale priced items) but STILL. I feel like if I stop the spending, a buyer will appear out of nowhere. But then something else pops up, and I HAVE to have it. The price is SO GOOD, and it something we were planning to get before we move in, so why not??? Ugh. The worst yet was a duvet cover. I really over-spent on that one. It was probably not something we would get right away. Ooops. But it was pottery barn, it was clearanced, it was gorgeous, and it was going away. What could I do? And no, of course I didn't tell Chad. If you think I seem stressed, you should see him.
Ok, well, now I feel a little bit better. The King size duvet cover is GONE people! So, it really wasn't going to be there long. I would have been sad. Anyway, here it is:
http://ww2.potterybarn.com/cat/pip.cfm?src=shpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsal%7Crshop&pkey=csalbdg&gids=p5094
Hmm, that was my first attempt at a link. Wonder if it will work. (edited to add: YAH!! It worked!)
Anyway, if we don't get this house sold, I am starting to wonder what I will do with all of my new stuff. I could sell it on eBay (maybe not this duvet cover, tho......I am really feeling warm and fuzzy about it), or just re-use it in this house. Actually, if, for some reason, we lose the new house, I would think that we will leave this on the market and just wait a sale out. And then find a new house. Sound good?
Ok, I know this is jumbled, but that is just how I am right now. Anyway, my mother is not helping matters much right now. Sometimes, she can be a steamroller, and sometimes that is good. But right now, she is really driving the stress factor UP. I CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE BUY THIS HOUSE!!!!!!! She is really pushing things, and not hearing us. She just called, and talked to some realtor guy about this house, and was just about to tell me what HE thinks (some bloody stranger, who has never seen this house, may not know the area, and does not know that my mother often gets facts WRONG!!!) when, thankfully, her other line rang. I did hear enough to know that she TOTALLY got wrong how long this has been on the market. Even though I told her last night. Even though she tried to ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT IT. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. See, stressball.
The (current) house has not sold yet. No one has come to see the house in over a week, and even that was only 1 appointment. It is deadsville around here, and frankly, difficult to keep in showroom quality when you never have anyone to show. Anyway, there is no Plan B if this house does not sell. I am not sure what happens. I assume we don't get the mortgage, cos God knows we cannot afford two houses. Chad and I need to talk through a Plan B.
Yesterday was our pre-sheetrock walk-through. It was really cool to see, but we also got The Date. The completion date. September 19th. A week earlier than we had expected. STRESS. And the field manager, Brandon, went into details about what happens next, and it was just too much. My stomach was rolling, and I don't think it has stopped since. It is even giving me insomnia.
Meanwhile, I cannot stop spending money on the new house. Granted, they have been sale items (really good sale priced items) but STILL. I feel like if I stop the spending, a buyer will appear out of nowhere. But then something else pops up, and I HAVE to have it. The price is SO GOOD, and it something we were planning to get before we move in, so why not??? Ugh. The worst yet was a duvet cover. I really over-spent on that one. It was probably not something we would get right away. Ooops. But it was pottery barn, it was clearanced, it was gorgeous, and it was going away. What could I do? And no, of course I didn't tell Chad. If you think I seem stressed, you should see him.
Ok, well, now I feel a little bit better. The King size duvet cover is GONE people! So, it really wasn't going to be there long. I would have been sad. Anyway, here it is:
http://ww2.potterybarn.com/cat/pip.cfm?src=shpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsalbdg%7Crshop%2Fshpcsal%7Crshop&pkey=csalbdg&gids=p5094
Hmm, that was my first attempt at a link. Wonder if it will work. (edited to add: YAH!! It worked!)
Anyway, if we don't get this house sold, I am starting to wonder what I will do with all of my new stuff. I could sell it on eBay (maybe not this duvet cover, tho......I am really feeling warm and fuzzy about it), or just re-use it in this house. Actually, if, for some reason, we lose the new house, I would think that we will leave this on the market and just wait a sale out. And then find a new house. Sound good?
Ok, I know this is jumbled, but that is just how I am right now. Anyway, my mother is not helping matters much right now. Sometimes, she can be a steamroller, and sometimes that is good. But right now, she is really driving the stress factor UP. I CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE BUY THIS HOUSE!!!!!!! She is really pushing things, and not hearing us. She just called, and talked to some realtor guy about this house, and was just about to tell me what HE thinks (some bloody stranger, who has never seen this house, may not know the area, and does not know that my mother often gets facts WRONG!!!) when, thankfully, her other line rang. I did hear enough to know that she TOTALLY got wrong how long this has been on the market. Even though I told her last night. Even though she tried to ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT IT. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. See, stressball.
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