All Growed Up

My sweetest, Charlie, is one year old today. And I am in WA while he is in MN. He won't remember, but I always will. I got a little cuddle in at 5:30, and I am comforted by the fact that he is with people who love him and maybe doesn't even notice that I am gone.

This trip will be the longest I have ever been seperated from him. With Jack, we took off when he was 5 months old, but it was different. I felt so tied down, things were just so different going from no kids to 1. There were different challenges, I guess. With Charlie, I already was tied down, so I didn't feel that way. I nursed him longer, so it was a lot longer until he spent the night away from me. And he has always been more dependent on me. Jack was independent from the start, and I always loved that. I am not saying that I like either of these facets of my children better, they are just different.

I just wish I could be with Charlie today. I am sure if I was, it would be much like any other day. I am sure that would get easily frustrated, or lazy, or just want time to myself. And maybe there wouldn't be any "special" time for me and him, just those moments I want to cherish forever, moments that are hard to explain. I just feel like I should be with him on his day.

But I am not, and I am doing something that is important to all of us. Some alone time with his daddy, which we really have needed. We are both so stressed with the house, and just have been connecting because of it. But I am literally and figuratively so far away from that right now, and it feels great. I am liking my husband, and getting reacquainted with myself again. I think all people need this, but in different ways. I think my good friend, Jenny, gets it when she goes for a pedicure. I truly think that a couple of days away from her kids might make her more stressed at this point. Hey, it takes all kinds, right.

Anyway, I want to honor my Chucker right now. He is such a little gem, and he breaks my heart in so many ways. He really is such a sweet boy. He loves, loves, LOVES to give kisses. He even cuddles a bit (you try to get a 1 year old to sit still for a cuddle). He is so cute, with how he throws his arms up when he wants to be carried, to how he picks up a toy and gives it to me (over and over and over again), and how he has the cutest little grin that lights up and scrunches up his little face. Oh, I never knew that I could be this happy with two little boys. They give me so many rewards, and I really am so lucky. They are already each other best friends, well, maybe all three of us are our own little gang right now. They get along so well, I really can't imagine them fighting. I know they will, but I am glad it is a little way off from now.

Happy Birthday, Charlie baby. I love you and miss you in ways you will never know.